Why is it Important To Explore Your Beliefs?

Have you ever taken the time to sit with yourself and ask, why do I believe in this? How did I come to believe in this? This period of questioning happened to me about four years ago when I was in my third year of University. I called it an existential crisis. Here is a bit of back story: I grew up in a strict religious household and the beliefs my parents had, were naturally passed down to me. I had a happy childhood, I liked that I shared the same beliefs as my parents and sister. It made things easier. My religion gave me a sense of belonging and purpose. Most of my friends up until the end of high school also shared the same religion as me. It was convenient for me to be friends with people who were like-minded and had the same values as me. So sticking to the same friends, who had the same beliefs as me was amazing. It became second nature to have my whole life encompassed by one thing: religion. My friends, the school I went to, and my extra-curriculars. There was no one who could challenge me and I certainly wasn’t challenging myself–I was content with how my life had gone the 20 some odd years that I have been on this earth. Then, one day, for no particular reason, I started to question why I had these strong beliefs that stemmed from my religious background. What has shaped my belief system and am I better person because of it? The latter part of this question has allowed me to become the best version of myself in the last few years.

            For most of my life, I have been judgemental, close minded and sheltered.

Judgmental: I would view people who are different from me as less than and at the same time, I would not make the effort to get to know them as a person. It became normal for me to label people and brush them off when I did not like what they were saying. Close minded: I had tunnel vision. I only saw the world my way, and my way was right. I did not have room to invite other opinions or beliefs because I had the same set of beliefs for 20 years of my life, why start changing them now? Sheltered: living in a strict religious household kept me in a comfortable little unbreakable box. The outside world was secular and it was not for me. I barely had any knowledge of any other religions, sexualities, my own sexuality for that matter, and I have not had a lot of diverse life experience. So what was bugging me about this? I realized that I had not made the most of my life–I was living in a way that was safe. My beliefs, though they gave me comfort and security, also deprived me of opportunity, knowledge, wisdom, and the ability to be a well-rounded person. I also was living in a way that was not my own. In questioning my beliefs, I was bettering myself. Even if I were to question my beliefs and be okay with it, at least I had done that reflection. It is important to know why we believe what we believe in. To believe in something because that is all you’ve known is one thing, but to believe in something because you’ve challenged it, reflected on it and now know why you believe in it for yourself–wow! So many times I had denied myself curiosity because I thought that I had to–because that is what I was taught.

            The first step is reflecting on your beliefs, the second step is thinking about where those beliefs stemmed from and how they have helped or harmed you. All beliefs/values are either learned or taught. They are not a random part of who we are, they stem from experience. Parents are major influencers to what we are taught and how we have learned it. For children and adolescence, this is the most vulnerable time in a person’s life to have their belief system influenced. It is important to not let your belief system stop there. Challenge it, reflect on how it shapes you as a person, and love those parts that guide your moral compass. Another reason why it is important to reflect on your beliefs is because it reveals information about you. It helps us to get to know ourselves better and process our experiences that led to the formulation of our beliefs. Another word for a belief is a schema, schemas like beliefs, are how we perceive the world. Our personality reflects the schemas that we have. Someone who would consider themself a perfectionist maybe grew up with parents who expected the best and put pressure on their child to do better. Someone who views anger as unacceptable maybe grew up in a household where anger was expressed in the form of yelling, hitting, or punishment. These schemas reveal parts of us that are important to come to terms with. The more we know ourselves, the more we can gain self-awareness and become regulated bodies.

Here are some of the technical parts of our beliefs: automatic thoughts are situation specific and fall just under consciousness. Introducing self-awareness to automatic thoughts is simpler and enables people to think about them and in turn, change them. Core beliefs are different. They are deep rooted beliefs that impact a person’s feelings and behaviours in multiple situations. Core beliefs are harder to pinpoint and thus more difficult to change than automatic thoughts. These beliefs are set and stone, they are not fluid. When individuals are introduced to ideas that prove their beliefs otherwise, it doesn’t really matter and people continue to keep believing their core beliefs. Automatic thoughts and core beliefs reflect how we see ourselves, those around us, the world, and the future. Beliefs can be positive or negative. Some beliefs about ourselves include, “I am enough” or “I am not enough.” Some beliefs about others include: “Men are dangerous” or “I respect men.” Some beliefs about the world include: “The world is corrupt” or “The world is my playground.” Lastly, some beliefs about the future include: “The best is yet to come” or “Nothing last forever.” Every person has a core set of beliefs, whether they have a chance to reflect on them or not. These beliefs are only active when they are triggered. People think, feel, and behave a particular way because of something that has triggered their core beliefs. These influences were probably caused by an event, an experience, or a person. Core beliefs also give us the lens in which we see the world. It is how we convey meaning, what we pay attention to, what we have been holding on to or what we remember. It is important to notice your most vivid and precious memories as you have probably associated some meaning to it. This meaning has then probably affected your core belief system.

            It is further significant to note that core beliefs are reinforced by ourselves. For example, Jane has the the belief, “I am not good enough” because of multiple breakups and not feeling loved by her parents growing up. This belief becomes a self-reinforcing process because Jane assume other people’s actions or thoughts to be negative toward her because she believes that she is not good enough. There are many positive beliefs that we have that help us to live a flourishing life. Then there are beliefs that are negative and hinder the way we live. It is important to reflect on the hindering beliefs that are dysfunctional so that we can live a more flouring life. Once dysfunctional beliefs are identified, then the work can begin to replace these old beliefs with new beliefs. The processing of beliefs is a slow and meaningful process. There are many beliefs that we were taught as children that have now carried on into adulthood. It is hard to identify unhelpful core beliefs and even harder to work toward changing them. Processing why your core beliefs have either helped or hinder you is a vital role in becoming self-aware. When we get to the place where we have done the work of unpacking our core beliefs, I believe that we can reach our most authentic selves.

            It is valuable for me to reflect on my core beliefs because it has helped me to come to terms with who I really am and what has shaped me. If I didn’t take time to challenge my beliefs, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I also want to acknowledge that I still value religion, I just needed to expand my beliefs in a way that was more diverse, well-rounded, and inclusive of all peoples. I also know I needed to be in the place where I was ready to be challenged. Once I was ready, there was no going back–here’s to a happier and healthier me. Tricia Jeranie., MA Counselling Intern

What is trauma-informed therapy and how does it help?

Trauma-informed therapy provides healing from our traumatic experiences which may be causing intrusive distress, flashbacks, nightmares, emotional numbness, irritation, or anger. We can heal from our pain and shame which we have been distancing from. We may go to great lengths to try to numb the pain. Trauma-informed therapy supports us in reclaiming our power and letting go of the past.  

Trauma-informed therapy helps us discern the safety in our present situations, as triggers can leave us physiologically distressed. Triggers can cause us to feel enraged, ashamed, furious, terrified, or frozen and look for someone to blame in the present. Post-traumatic stress is overwhelming and leaves us feeling disempowered. We may not understand or be able to control what is going on with our mind and body. Trauma-informed therapy supports us in gaining awareness of our symptoms so we can step into healing. 

Trauma-informed therapy supports us in creating safety and learning to show up for ourselves as we start to reclaim our power. At Jennifer Michaud & Associates INC. we are aware that our trauma coping patterns did not emerge overnight. We help you assess which patterns are serving and sabotaging you. We encourage you as you begin to create boundaries for your healing journey. We provide a safe space and support you as you grieve everything the trauma has robbed from you. 

What does the therapy process look like? 

Some of us may be entering trauma therapy for the first time. Judith Herman’s marathon metaphor is a helpful image to understand the complexities and perseverance of trauma recovery. Once we have decided it do the run, it is important to remember that this work will take time. 

For example, we may be ready to plunge into the crimes that are haunting us; however, in the first phase of marathon training we start small. Once the training is underway, we must prepare and practice to endure the run. Both our physiological and psychological strength, and perseverance is put to the test in trauma healing. Healing like training feels isolating, requires determination and is a courageous act. 

To grieve the past is to reclaim our power. We are not responsible for the injuries that were perpetrated, we are responsible for our recovery and healing. Accepting that we must prepare for the marathon of healing is beginning to take our power back. 

We step into our power by taking full responsibility of our healing. Finding a trauma informed therapist who is a good fit for us, is profound. There is no set time or path for our grieving; we all grieve differently. We will know that we are healing when telling the trauma story does not dysregulate us anymore.

Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) 

EMDR is a therapy which helps us integrate our traumas so we can let go of the past. It is a procedure used by trained and certified therapists that helps you reduce impact or intrusion of past experiences into present day life. 

EMDR is a staged intervention that begins with assessing your history and creating a specialized treatment plan. We prepare you before we go into the assessment phase and desensitization through eye movements. The eye movements are done for bilateral stimulation to help us integrate the trauma experiences.  - Jessie Dhaliwal, Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC) & EMDR Specialist

What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) & how can it help?

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, also referred to as CBT is an evidence based psychological treatment shown to be one of the most effective treatments for the management of anxiety. Research has shown CBT to be effective in treatment of general anxiety, social anxiety, and panic disorders. In addition, CBT is appropriate for mood disorders, eating disorders and emotional dysregulation.

CBT is solution focused form of psychotherapy that involves two components, a cognitive component, and a behavioral component. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy involves learning new skills to manage and understand symptoms, which helps clients develop new ways of thinking and behaving. Cognitive-Behavior Therapy addresses negative patterns and distortions in the way clients view themselves and the world around them.

Unlike medications, which may have unwanted side effects, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, has few risks. CBT uses a wide range of strategies to help clients. These strategies may include journaling, relaxation techniques, mindfulness techniques, role-playing and exposure therapy.

CBT is a collaborative treatment therefore its benefits are affected by the client’s willingness to participate in and out of the therapy session. 

What are some of the principles of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy?

There are several principles of CBT that are important to understand.

1.     CBT focuses on the here and now.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy is designed to target a specific problem or symptom. The benefit of this is that the goal(s) of therapy is clear from the start and clients do not spend and extended number of sessions determining the root problem.

2.     CBT emphasizes collaboration and active participation.

CBT works best when clients take an active role in determining treatment goals and the therapist tailors those components to the client’s specific needs. Homework, what the client is asked to do outside of the session time, is a key component of CBT treatment. 

3.     CBT is structured and time-limited

CBT can offer clients relief in a relatively short period of time and each session follows a predictable order and builds on previous sessions. It is designed as a short-term therapy. 

 How does Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Work?

The basic premise of CBT is that our thoughts affect the way we feel not external events. Different emotions evoke different emotions in people depending upon personal expectations attitudes and beliefs. For clients with anxiety, negative ways of thinking lead to negative emotions. The goal of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is to identify the negative thoughts, beliefs and correct them. - Kate Harvey, Professional Counsellor

To Play or Not to Play?

To play or not to play, that is the question?

Have you ever wondered what really happens in the office during a play therapy session? Greeted with squeals and delight, children immerse themselves in a safe place where they are free to explore their understanding of the world, relationships and themselves symbolically through their primary language - PLAY! 

Children integrate their understanding of the world through play. In this space we can explore things that we love, things that we miss or things that scare us all the while knowing that we are truly safe. Free of the complexities of family systems, play therapy is a place for your child to learn to recognize their own emotional states, ground themselves and practice relating in healthy ways. 

Play therapy is ideal for children ages 3-12, however, age ranges and appropriateness can vary. Themes that emerge in play become touchpoints for counsellors to identify and support changes in emotions and behaviors.

Sessions are 50 minutes long.  Parents should expect that the benefits are realized at about 15-20 sessions, however some will notice changes in their children’s behavior much sooner. If you are struggling with family management, concerned about your child’s behaviours, emotional expression or socialization contact us today. - Colleen Vantol, Master of Counselling Psychology MA., RCC